Envy is a no-no word, harsher than jealous. When I feel envy I admit to myself that I have failed, and I think I feel more anger than when I feel jealous. Jealousy feels more childish, or adolescent. Envious reaches the stage of gnashing teeth, a dark corner to plot revenge in, and the garbage can–no, sewer pot.
Does it also carry with it a dislike of the person envied? I’m just exploring my id, you see. I can’t easily imagine feeling envy of someone I like and enjoy. I’ve decided (now) that envy may be the most multi-leveled and torturous emotion of all. Hate is clean and honest in comparison.
At least feeling envious leads me to my dashboard to reflect
Overflowing emotion runs through my veins, And like a flood gate, It opens at the worst times, Cascading down and taking everyone with it, Reminding me I am a slave to the flow of the current, Taking me which ever way it deems most important, Sailing on the tides, We find you waiting, As though you knew exactly where we’d wash up, And for the shores that bury themselves in my thighs, The sand gathering and falling around me, I stand tall, As though not underwater by the overwhelming symptoms, Reaching for your hand, To guide me to the other side.
Not only do I love writing but I also enjoy reading. So many of the amazing things I read are enjoyed by so few, as not every literary marvel is also a marketing mogul. It’s this, i care to share most.