The scales have tipped. And when they tip I try my best to toss golden bells to the lighter side. It’s no use so I shave and bathe and soak in my own blood until I feel the need to pace again. This life can be hard. He says to sway. He says to dig in and know that these feelings mean I’m alive. I say he’s a gift and he says this life isn’t for him. And yet here he is shaving my legs. “I just missed it.” he says. It as in the gateway to us. We dance and fuck and go places I’ve wanted to go for so long. He places a palm under the weighted end and lifts it so I can see, but he says it’s not real. Even though I know there’s no balance and I know he’s telling me the truth, it feels better to see them in line. I tell him to hold it for just a second longer and close my eyes before he moves his hand. Then he throws all his attention on me until I forget there was ever anything else besides us. The bells jingle as he approaches me but it doesn’t matter. I just want to find him in me again.
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